Interesting beginning to the episode…like the type of camera they use in war. Infrared or something, the kind you can shoot in the dark.

So we are trying to figure out who Jacob was referring to when he wrote “Kwon” on the wall. Does he mean Jin, Sun…or the baby, perhaps.

Wait. Why aren’t they married? WTF?

Poor, Sayid. That rebirth (or whatever happened to him) has left him feeling nothing. I kinda don’t even like that they left him alive if he’s not Sayid anymore.

Oh great, they’re being attacked by the others. With those weird shot-bullets we’ve seen in prior seasons. And there’s the “camera” we saw earlier, those night-vision goggles. If they came for Jin, they must know where Sun is.

Back to the beach. I’m happy this episode has both Jack and Sawyer in it. Oooh, Sun is PISSED.

Back to the ALT world. Where apparently they don’t even date each other publicly. And they are making their own little asian porn flick in their hotel.

Ironic that Sun turns down the one person who will actually take her to Jin. They both distrust him.

And look who looks super-guilty. Why it’s Mr. Kwon. Oh shit, who’s at the door? Her dad perhaps? He’s always lurking around. Uh oh, that boy is trouble. Why is he looking in her room and not Jin’s? I guess he already went there and figured out they were together.

Yeah, I hate it when Neu-Sayid talks. He sounds so…void…of everything.

Oh damn, Jin’s in that crazy movie theater from the Dharma initiative. I’m impressed, Jin knew that he was with Whitmore’s people. Speaking of Neu-people, I hate this Neu-Claire.

“No, cause that’d be ridiculous.” - God I love Sawyer.

Oh! Jin will be at the restaurant and that’s when Sayid will kill the evil guy! It’s all coming together now. I like it when loose ends get tied.

“She hits her head and forgets English. We’re supposed to buy that?” Miles = Awesome.

Hee hee, these people don’t know about Neu-Locke. You can’t kill that bitch. Charles is not a good liar. At all. Apparently these pylons(?) keep ole’ Smokey out.

Sun is pissed!

Crap. Sun’s father sucks, in every world. Wow, he was paying that evil guy off to kill Jin. I can’t wait for Sayid to show up.

Aww, little Kwon is so adorable! Did Charles bring her to the island?

Wow, this is like watching “Back to the Future.” Going back and forth in time. Yes for Sayid! And now Jin is going to save Sun!

Crap! Crap! Crap! He accidentally shot her (I knew it!). And she’s preggers (I knew that too!).

Sun takes Jake’s hand. Apparently touching people is very important on the island.

Wow, Kate’s only had like one sentence in the whole episode. With Sawyer, which makes it good time.

Shit….Neu-Sayid is on a mission. Why did they bring him on the island??

CHANNEL 7 NEWS, I HATE YOU!!! YOU INTERRUPTED THE ‘NEXT WEEK ON LOST’ TO GIVE ME A WEATHER UPDATE??!!! I HATE YOU.

Alpert! So excited for this episode.

Jacob’s not a bad-looking guy, I gotta say. He’s got a good look to him. So Ana (is this supposed to be the new Ana Lucia?) is the protector of this Motley Crew? Nice.

Ricardo’s gone off the deep end a bit. And I can’t say I blame him. Living up on the island for god knows how long, never aging (a plus!), playing along with what this man has told you; and then the man up and dies and you have nothing.

So he believes (knows!) we’re all in hell (a major LOST theory) and has decided to go follow someone else. Who I’m guessing is old Smokey. Fine. Leave Jack (with his REALLY GOOD looking hair) and the rest of the bunch, we don’t need ya!

“If it’s any consolation, it’s not EXACTLY Locke.” - Ben

And now the history of Richard “Ricardo” Alpert!!

Man, what year is this? Horse-riding, Spanish-speaking — woah, “Isabella” looks like Nadia. And Selma Hayek. And she’s dying. Perhaps she has the consumption?

Uggh, I already don’t like this. This awful doctor deserves to die…and that’s exactly what happens. Nice. I’m ok with that. And we’re too late for Isabella. Why is it that he waited so damn long to get the doctor?

The New World? Dude, what is this, 1492? What’s up with all these people being so mean to Little Richard? This priest is just AWFUL. Oh great, now he’s a slave. Things just suck for him. He’s like the Job of the 16th Century.

So if they are going from Spain to the US, how the hell did they land on the island? I mean, they didn’t go east did they? Makes no sense. Whatever, I’ll add it to the list.

And now we know about the Black Rock’s beginnings. Yes, Smokey’s arrived to saw Ricardo! I love it.

Man, this is the saddest/worst story ever. Ri-dic-ulous. Eeww! Boar is eating people! Nail is gone now. And here comes Isabella — to tell him that they’re all dead. Great. So why would Smokey kill (the already dead) Isabella? She’s innocent. And things just get worse.

Now we have SMOKEY’S healing hand to save him. Well, at least to confirm that we are in hell. So Smokey is saying he’s not Smokey? I don’t get this. He’s just a big liar? And why doesn’t he have a name!? So irritated I have to keep calling him Smokey.

Is this one of Smokey’s many attempts to get someone to kill Jacob?

So Smokey is calling Jacob the devil. He gives him the same speech that the marital arts guy gave to Sayid. Both believing that the other person is the devil; or at least tell the murderer that they believe they are. And the idea that they can’t allow the other person to speak first? I know there’s more to that.

Jacob’s got some killer moves. Literally. Haha! This Jacob of yore is pretty funny. Trying to drown the unluckiest man alive. Denying they are in hell. Denying they are dead.

Why does Jacob give his name but Smokey doesn’t?

So the island acts like a cork for hell? Everyone gets a clean-slate on the island. Jacob believes in the good of people, but he won’t “help them.” They must help themselves. Smokey believes that all people are evil. Jacob brings people to the island to prove Smokey wrong. However, they’ve all died up until this point. Not really a good sign. Not really the best track record.

Richard passes the rock to Smokey. And Smokey doesn’t kill him (not that he could) and he gives him his wife’s necklace. So nice. Which he buries. Jesus, finally something good to come to poor Richard.

Richard is on his way to Smokey, I presume. But first to pick-up the necklace. I love how he’s repeating an offer that was made, oh, 500 years ago.

Haha, Hurley! He was speaking to Isabella! I knew it…but only three seconds before it happened.

I wonder if Isabella really said that to Hurley or if Jacob told him to.

So back to 1500s Jacob and Smokey. Why won’t Jacob let him leave…is it because he’s the devil? So Jacob has to protect the Earth from it? That’s my best guess.

Next week….looks like we’ve got the story of the Kwons.

I’m a little miffed at my DVR. It starts recording a little late for all my shows now. I don’t think I missed anything from this episode of LOST, but it certainly didn’t record the “last week on LOST” part. So, without further ado…

So I’m up to Season 6 again on LOST - I rewatched all the seasons in the last month basically. And one thing I’ve taken away? Sawyer says “son of a bitch” like 1,000 times, and it’s always funny. Ok, back to this week. Sawyer is living in the worst looking hut I’ve ever seen; it’s made of twigs and like toilet seats, I swear. Kate shows up with the anti-Locke.

And back in ALT world, Sawyer is running his con (of course). Ha, he’s found himself a con girl. Hmm, it’s so hard for me to recognize if he’s lying….WHAT?! He’s a freaking cop!? With Miles!? Wow. I totally didn’t see that one. Again. What is it about not having “the island” in his life, or Jacob visit him when his parents died, that altered his life so much? And Miles too. I just don’t get the rationalization behind ALT world. But I guess there isn’t anything rational about it. Whateves.

Christ, there is nothing funnier, and more disturbing, that Claire’s monster fake baby. WTF. Anti-Locke is presenting himself as a customer service line, “I’ll be here all night to take your calls, folks!” Umm, Kate, I’d get the hell away from Claire if I were you. She’s gonna put one in the back of your head….speaking of which, why hasn’t Jin warned her??

Oh, there’s Detective Ford chatting with Locke’s daddy on the phone. So he hasn’t given up the search. Well, not Locke’s daddy exactly. Tee hee, Miles’ dad is alive! And he’s setting up Sawyer on a date. This is so NYPD Blue, I love it. Are we supposed to pull from this ALT story that people are always the same inside and will get to the same end no matter what. Sawyer may be a cop, but he wants the same thing the con guy wants - Tom Sawyer.

Hmm, Monster Locke confesses to being the monster. Interesting. LOST is all about being truthful these days. Sawyer’s running recon on the other island. Doesn’t he see that Smokey is full of crap? He’s not giving him enough reason to do anything, in order to get off the island. What’s the real story?

And here’s Charlotte! Man, I was really hoping it was Juliet. You know, I don’t buy this Detective Ford story; he doesn’t have the attitude of a cop, he just doesn’t. And they’re having sex? Wow, these people are whores. Ha! “Watership Down!” One of my favorites.

And Detective Ford flips! Touchy, touchy. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Sawyer is back on the other island, back to the cages. The scene of love for he and Kate.

What’s up with Sayid? He crazy now? Well, at least he knows he’s crazy.

HAHAHAHAH! Kate’s being attacked by the bush woman and he’s not helping her!

BOOM! Claire! You just got knocked the F out! (Friday, anyone?)

I like Sawyer’s hair being shorter. It’s nice.

Man, pile ‘o bodies. Not cool. And who’s this nerd with the glasses?

YES! Charlie’s brother! There are way too many exclamation points in the post.

Miles is so cute when’s angry and offended. And Sawyer is coming out, full force.

Oh, and there’s the mirror shot (they do this in each alternate world episode).

So I don’t know about this chick. Seems fishy. What plane was she on?

Uh oh, Smokey is coming to coerce Kate into liking him. He’s very truthful, when he wants to be. Don’t take his hand…look at his teeth, they are too white! He’s bad news.

This chick asks WAY too many questions. YES. Go Sawyer! Con man knows a con.

“Take me to your leader.” Cute.

[I don't like watching commercials during LOST because the V commercials creep me out with their Charlie and Juliet people on them]

So Smokey Locke and Kate are having a heart-to-heart. Who’s Smokey’s mom? I love how no one asks him any real questions about himself, they just let him talk.

Aww, poor Aaron has a crazy mother too. It’s true.

Ok, so Sawyer is with some castaways, or something, and they have access to a sub?? Really? This is where their leader resides?

ALT Sawyer is watching “Little House on the Prairie!!!!” I knew this was the best show ever. If they realize the awesomeness that is “Little House,” they are A-OK in my book! Man, I miss Michael Landon.

So back on the sub, we’ve got Charles Whitmore. Oh yeah, I forgot about him arriving at the very end of last episode. Makes sense.

Where are Ben and Jack? I miss them.

Heart-to-heart with Whitmore, where Sawyer’s making deals with all kinds of devils. Now, why does Whitmore want to kill Smokey and not Ben. Or does Whitmore think he’s talking about Ben?

Don’t put the gun away, Kate. You’re stupid. Don’t believe her tears. She’s crazy-town, usa now.

And now Sawyer is being straight with Smokey. Look how proud Smokey is of Sawyer’s loyalty. So I guess no double-crossing afterall.

Aww, and now Sawyer is sharing his story with Miles. Shouldn’t Miles know about Sawyer’s parents? Come, now, I don’t believe that.

Holy crap! Is that Kate?! I bet it is. “Son of a bitch” (with a smirk). Ha!

So how is a sub easier to maneuver than plane? I guess we’ll find out.

NEXT WEEK: Alpert’s tale! Woot!

[The man who does the voiceover for Flash Forward sounds like Morgan Freeman. I wonder if it is. Also, there's Penny. Dude, is that three LOST people!? Wait, is Juliet on V? Maybe that's where she went. Ok, nevermind.]

I really have to say, there’s no one on LOST with better -isms on the show than Ben. I think Sawyer might come in a close second.

So we find Ben running to the group, letting them know of Dogen’s death by Sayid. RIP.

Now we find alt-world Ben in the classroom, molding young minds. Ironically (or actually, not really) he’s teaching the class about a leader who loses control of his…go on and say it…ISLAND. It’s the worst thing to happen to dear Ben- err, NAPOLEON, and he “might as well be dead.” Wow, that’s laying it on a bit thick, eh LOST writers? Come on now.

So, DOCTOR Linus has to cover detention. Nice. And that stupid science teacher is back - you know, the one NO ONE REMEMBERS OR CARES ABOUT.

Oh, I love it. Substitute Locke is pushing Dr. Linus to become principal. And we all know what the last three letters of principal spells! P-A-L! Yes, when I think of Ben Linus, I think PAL.

Miles is back to speaking with the dead, which I love. And he just outed Ben as Jacob’s killer. Now tell me, who’s this woman with them? I swear she’s been on several episode and I still have no clue who she is. Why is Jacob the closest thing she’s had to a father? She from the island? Too hard to keep this shit straight. Anyways, she’ll probably kill Ben. And speaking of the good Doctor, why does he even bother lying about it? It’s painfully obvious he did it.

OMG, Roger Linus! Look at that old bald man! Wow, they went to the island….and then left. Wow. HAHA! Alex is his student! Dude, are you telling me Rousseau is now a Real Housewife of L.A.?? I need to see this.

So this girl is in charge of protecting the candidates. And let’s just say it, one Kwon is as good as the other

Where is Hurley leading Jack - he’s so bad at tricking people. And there’s ageless Richard, to lead them to the Temple.

“Dude, do you trust that guy?”
“At least he’s not stalling.”

Yeah, that woman is totally going to kill Ben. And make him dig his own grave. Tragic.

Ok, please tell me Alex doesn’t have a thing for Dr. Linus. Cause I’ll barf. Right now.

East India Trading Company! I miss history class. So the principal is the pervert — and we have the turning point. Where “good” Ben finally finds the information he’s been looking for to overthrow the old leader, and turns to “bad” Ben.

Awww, Jacob loved Ben. Man, Miles has the greatest superhero power ever!

Ha! Hurley has some damn good lines. He gets third place. Pulling a Terminator reference to Richard, love it. Almost as much as I love his Back to the Future reference.

Woah! And now Richard doesn’t believe in Jacob, and he wants to…die? Now who’s being “overdramatic”?

Ben’s ready to use his new-found power, via email accounts. Also, Science teacher is the same both off and on the island. Stupid and useless and forgettable.

AND…here comes Jack to save Richard. There’s something new.

Richard has lost his faith. What is Jack up to? Umm, why doesn’t Richard know about the Lighthouse? Seriously, he’s been on the damn island forever and he doesn’t know what’s in the Lighthouse? Please.

Look at Jack, who’s faith has been restored! Loves it. And poor Richard doesn’t get his wish. Yes, yes Jack. Let’s go back to where we started. Which I’m guessing is the beach.

Cash-register Monster! I mean the anti-Locke. Where is Sawyer? I don’t like episodes without Sawyer. Oh, so now Smokey wants to give Ben the island? What’s the catch?

Oh, smackdown on Reynolds! Go Dr. Linus. Poor Ben, why can’t he get anything the legit way? Also, I call BS on Reynolds torching Alex. Ben could get him to do both things - resign and write the letter of recommendation. That’s stupid.

Anyways…back to the island. Ben’s not going to kill her. He just wants to explain to someone, anyone, how hurt he is. I have a feeling that the Bodyguard isn’t going to give a damn. She’s going to kill him. Oh god, he’s so pathetic, wanting to go to Locke. Wait. She’s not going to kill him. She’s going to take him in?? Who’s this girl, Jesus?

Ok, Principal Reynolds did write that nice letter AND Linus got back this “little club.” And then he goes and offers his parking space to the stupid-ass science teacher. You know, I’m beginning to think ole’ science teacher is the real devil.

Wow, Ben is redeemed. Off and on the island. Amazing.

Principal Reynolds is a douche, by the way.

Oh, I love Ben. I really do. He’s given up his power. He’s given up the island. He just wants to help. Ben….ahhhh.

HA! Miles dug up the diamonds.

Bodyguard is crying. Slow-motion music time…it defines LOST. It’s all about people returning to the beach and everyone running up to great them like it’s the best family reunion ever. You know, I have no idea how long it’s been since Jack and Hurley have seen Sun. No idea.

The new gang is together. I like it.

HEY NOW: Charles W. found the island!!

So…all in all, excellent episode. I really enjoyed it and felt as thought it accomplished a ton for one hour. Much better than last week’s in my opinion. Right up there with the Locke episode. I actually loved that there wasn’t a lot of action. I feel like we need to focus on the characters’ resolution, and that is better served by words and not actions.

I’m super excited Ben didn’t die.

Top 10 Movies?  Forget that, more like Top 10 Dresses!

Denva and I are watching the Oscars and have a few comments that we’d like to share….

What’s with all the Oompa Loompas?!  Everyone is orange! Except, 1) British People  2) Old People  3) Comedians (i.e. Tina Fey). 4) Women who star in Vampire movies.  Biggest offender so far, SJP.  She’s looks like an Oscar.  Gold dress, orange/gold skin.  Ugh.

Also, watching the pre-show on ABC….what’s up with Kathy Ireland?  I haven’t seen her since the mid-90s, when I used to workout to her fitness videos.  No, really.  Where did she come from!?

1. Cameron Diaz - Her hair looks amazing. Dress reminds me of one that Miley Cyrus wore last year I think, maybe to the Oscars?

2. Miley Cyrus - Gorgeous, best we’ve ever seen her. Ok, so we’ve only seen her for a few years, but still. I really love this.  And yes, I agree with Andrea, she needs to stop slumping her shoulders!

3. Kate Winslet - We just love her. Love. Her. And I’m also glad she’s stepping outside her box and wearing NOT black. With a body like that, she needs to flaunt it all day, everyday.

4. Sandra Bullock - Seriously Stunning. She’s had some good choices this season, but this tops them all. And it should, being the Oscars and being that she’s nominated for Best Actress. Also love the lipstick shade.  That’ll do, Sandra, that’ll do.

5. Vera Farmiga - This is a different choice for me. You might be thinking “I owed that Barbie doll in 1987″ but I really love it. Up close, not so much. It’s more of a Monet.  Beautiful from afar. And I love love love the color!

6. Rachel McAdams - I’m biased, I love everything she’s been in. Granted, this is not as fancy as an Oscars dress usually is, but I’m drawn to the water colors. And she pulls it off so well.  Only thing I would have liked, a necklace.  I realize she has big earrings on, but I think a statement necklace would have been a wiser choice.

7. Jennifer Lopez - Yes, we’re serious, we love the dress. Actually, D is really pushing for it, but I agree; she looks good. Also, sidenote, it looks like a stronger purple on screen and that looks great.

8. Mariska Hargitay - What a great black dress. I normally don’t go for black, for Awards Shows anyhow, but this is really unique to me. It reminds me of a wedding dress I like - perhaps an idea for those girls who get married and then subsequently nominated for an Academy Award? Yeah, not likely.

Ok, so that’s technically 8. I’m still deciding! Give me a night.

We have a Sayid-centric episode tonight, which I am looking forward to.  I argreed with Doc Jensen’s opinion of last week’s episode not being as great as the week before…and then coming to realize, upon second glance, that it was still a good episode.  Anyhoo…

Here we go!

Shit!  My DVR starting taping after the start - Sayid and Dogen were already battling when the taping began.  Did i miss anything?  Hmm, Dogen didn’t kill him because of the sound of a baseball hitting the floor?  Well, that’s what it looked like.  And now he’s banished him.

Jungle Claire, looking very white trash with her mullet, is working with Smokey.  So Claire knows that’s not John, I wonder who she thinks he is?

So ALT world Sayid is living on a friend’s couch or something.  And this friend wants Sayid to bully around some guys for him - some mobster people.  But Sayid says he’s not that man anymore…haven’t we heard that one before?  Like a few times?

I guess Smokey can’t go into the temple; it’s safe grounds or something.

Now that Jacob is gone, Smokey is free.  Free from what?  He can’t go into the temple….I guess he’s free to leave the island?  And why can’t Dogen kill Smokey, why does Sayid have to?  Does anyone do their own dirty work on this island??

Mr. Mom is hanging out with some kids.  Apparently this is the Sayid in hibernation, vs. the bear we know on the island.  (Does anyone get that Legends of the Fall reference?) Dude, Nadia married some other guy?  That’s crappy.  Looks like the bear needs to wake up - winter’s almost over.

Haha, I love how everyone is coming and going as they please now, through the temple.  Like suddenly it’s fine, people can do what they want.  So is Sayid going to see Smokey appear as Nadia?  Is that the deal?  Wait, Smokey’s in his “smokey” form…and now he’s John Locke.  Haha, it didn’t work.  Knife in stomach was no good - why didn’t they show that happening?  That would have been a cool effect.

Dogen was stupid to send Sayid out there; he should have known Smokey wouldn’t kill Sayid.   And there he goes promising people the world.  Messing with Sayid’s mind; the only way to see Nadia is for him to DIE.

So, Sayid dissed Nadia?  And pushed him to his BROTHER??  I didn’t even know he had a brother.  And what’s this BS about not deserving her? That might be true, but ole’ Omar is certainly not the next best choice.  Damn.

Ok, so there are some ultimatums.  Of course.  Sundown - either stay in the temple and die, leave island, or leave the temple and stay on the island.  Of course, I think trying to stay on the island but not temple leaves you dead as well.

The conversation between Kate and Claire didn’t go so hot.  I feel like there’s poor communication among the survivors.  Where’s Jin to tell everyone that Claire is batshit crazy and will kill whoever has Aaron?  Cause that would be really helpful right now. KTHXBAI.

Yeah, I think Jacob is bluffing.  And I think Sayid is gonna kill Dogen.

Shit, they are trying to mess with my new and improved Sayid?  Old habits die hard, that’s all I have to say.  Watch out, bitches.  Haha, it’s that crazy soldier from the island.  The one who killed Alex - Mr. Evil G.I. Joe.

That’s what I said, bitches!!  You don’t mess with Sayid!  He’s going to kill him.  Yup.

Uh oh, who is that?  Jin!  I love it.  Love the cross-over.

So Dogen was approached by the Darma people, I guess.  Oh, it was Jacob.  And Smokey offered the same deal.  They offered the same deal.  Hmm.  Yeah, I didn’t think Sayid was going to let him get off that easy, but just giving him the story about his son as an excuse for not killing Sayid.  I mean, god, that didn’t even make sense. NOTE: The baseball shaking Dogen up makes sense, now.  His son played baseball and died.  I guess the baseball falling symbolized life and what he gave up to be there.

I love that dirty water…

Woah!  He killed the hippie!  He made a deal with Smokey and that’s why he killed them all.  Dude.  That is serious.  IS Sayid stupid enough to think that Smokey can really get Nadia back there?  I mean, really?

Oh, don’t kill Miles.  I like him.   And here are the other survivors.

Oh dear, Sayid is crazytimeusa.

Great, the Jin and Sun game.  They never catch a break.

This is quite the blood bath.  Smokey is a real bitch.  And that Claire music is creepy.  So Smokey has quite the band with him now.  Oh god, not Kate.  Oh shit.  Don’t go!

REVIEW: Didn’t like this episode.  Very spliced together.  Not enough of an explanation about ALT world Sayid.  Not believable to me, that Sayid would turn like that.  Unless he really is possessed.

NEXT WEEK: It looks like Ben dies next week.  I don’t like that one bit.