The brother of two of our alumni (high schoolers now) was murdered this past weekend.  He was 19 and has two children, ages 1 and 3.  Apparently, he was having a dispute with someone and they shot him in the park saturday night.  We try to stay close to all our graduates, and these two we see all the time.  They are amazing kids.  One goes to an awesome boarding school out of state and the other volunteers for us in the afternoons.  We are bringing them both to the school during the week, mostly to escape their houses and the immediate grieving that is taking place there. 

It’s just so sobering and eye-opening to remember where most of our students are coming from.  Most of them have a loved one that has been killed; it’s just a way of life.  It makes you feel like a complete ass for getting upset over all the little stupid things that are going on in your own life; traffic, having to work late, not being paid enough, wanting to lose that last five pounds.  Honestly, if those are our real problems, well, we should be so lucky.

So I guess that’s what I’m trying to remember today.  Putting things into perspective.  Realizing how good I have it - and how good I’ve always had it.

I’ve gotten the final contract from my new job and everything seems all set!  I have my summer sublet (Fenway baby!) and I’ll be moving in June.  One thing I’m really excited about is visiting one of my favorite people, Gummy (Nate’s grandma).  It’s so strange how we can become close to someone who’s so different from us, so removed from our normal lives.  But Gummy and I hit it off right away - perhaps it was the chocolate I brought her on my first visit??  Haha.  All I know is that I can’t wait to move up there and visit.  I swear, there’s no way this woman is in her 60s 75, she’s too cool!  Or maybe I’m just old now?  I guess we’re just kindred spirits, I feel much closer to her than my own grandma. I can’t wait to hit the BonTon and Racino when I get there :)

In celebration of the end of DC CAS testing, the staff of all four schools headed out to the Rock and Roll Hotel to celebrate.  We basically had the whole place to ourselves and it was nice to (finally) relax after a hard week of….walking around and staring at kids while they determine our future funds by their results.  Yes, no one’s nervous at all.

My fellow central-florida-private-college colleague, Ms. Savitsky

The lovely ladies of KEY

Kendra and I

I’m beginning to think the reason I love LOST so much is that is resembles a soap opera.  Judging from last night’s episode, I would go so far to say that they kill off more people than General Hospital during sweeps.  And as my best friend can tell you, that’s saying something.  Seriously, though, is this what the writers meant by tying up loose ends?  They’re just going to kill everyone off?  Hmm, I guess that’s one way to do it.

I thought it was really sweet how Sawyer defended Hurley last night - and by defend I mean totally going to shoot down Locke when he wouldn’t let Hurley go back to the beach.  I swear, Sawyer turns into more of a sap each and every episode.  I love it.  BTW, if it had been Jack, we all know he would have just shot Locke, no questions asked.  Cause he’s tried it before!   What a switch in character traits, between those two (Sawyer and Jack).

I think I’m just happy all around with the new episodes of shows.  Thursday Night is back, with a vengence.  30 Rock was excellent, as was The Office.  I have a total girl crush on Tina Fey; I absolutely love the character of Liz Lemon.

Suck it monkeys, I’m going corporate!

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited french, and hasn’t cried once today? THIS GUY!

And I didn’t think it possible, but Ryan’s become even more of a douche on The Office.  Who knew he was so capable as an actor?

That’s the title of a country song - it’s been remade a couple of times I think.  Yes, I like country.  Actually, I kinda love it

So…I was offered the job and I think I accepted.  The formal offer is on its way in writing.

Woot!

It’s been a strange/crazy/exhausting week so far.  I’m still running on little sleep - from the late arrival back to DC plus having to be at school before 7am each morning due to DC CAS Testing. 

The new school wants to offer me the position, but we’re still negotiating salary/benefits.  Hopefully we’ll come to an agreement soon, because there is an awesome summer sublet I’ve found (one block from Fenway!) and I need to let the girl know whether I can take it or not.

On the friend front, one of my dearest had (with the doctors think is) a stroke on Friday.  She’s 28.  Yes, I’m serious.  She discovered something was wrong with her while talking with me on the phone that morning.  When my flight was cancelled, I called her to see if she could look up something in my email.  She’s always up early and (usually) alert, but this time something was definitely off.  She was speaking very slowly, seemed out of it, and had to ask me my username and password about five times each.  She kept saying that she couldn’t get logged in and I finally had to let her go because I needed to catch a flight.  I realized something was up but I had assumed that 1) she had a migraine (she gets them a lot - and coincidentally strokes at this age are usually misdiagnosed as such) or 2) one of her coworkers was right next to her and she couldn’t talk.  She was having a major problem communicating both verbally and by writing and had to leave work. 

She got better over the weekend - she was still struggling for some words, but it was a 90% improvement over Friday - and she went to a neurologist yesterday.  So he tells her that he thinks it was a stroke and keeps says “this is really bad.”  Then goes on to mention that a 36 year old came in last week with one, and died.  Great bedside manner Dr. Insensitive Asshole.  Sorry.  I’m a little angry at him right now.  Seriously?!  Who says that to a patient who already has hypertension and anxiety, to the point where she probably had a stroke?!  I told my friend that this is all because she lives in Florida, where “all the old people are.”  I think old people diseases are catching.  Honestly, she had shingles last year!  It won’t be long until the hip replacement!  Which is all the more reason why she needs to move out of that senior citizenville.  I propose she move in with me

 

I went to Boston this weekend to interview for a job at a Charter High School that is very similar to KIPP.  My interview was on Friday morning - I was supposed to fly in at 10am and head straight over to the school because the Director only had a limited amount of time to meet with me before heading out to a funeral.

So there I am at Dulles at 8am, going through all of my notes and doing some last minute preparation.  I hear the gate agent make some sort of annoucement, but I’m not really paying attention, and then I see everyone around me start to stand up.  “Is it time to board?” I ask.  “No, the flight has been cancelled,” is everyone’s reponse.  Excuse me, what??  I look up and watch the agent make the annoucement again, looking me straight in the eye.

“Flight 361 to Boston has been cancelled.  Please proceed to Gate C22R to rebook your flights.  Thank you!”

GREAT.  I, along with 60 other irritated people, race over to the Customer Service desk - where there are already a dozen people in line.  I opt for the customer service phone kiosk, with computers!, and have one hand on the phone and one hand on the computer.  The computer tells me I can get there at 2pm; no deal.  The woman on the phone is super polite (and robot sounding) and says “Miss Jones, it looks as though your flight was cancelled.  However, we have already rebooked you on a new flight for tomorrow morning - were you made aware of these changes?”  Let’s see, I was told three minutes ago right before we were about to board?  Is that ME being made AWARE of changes?  NO.  “Well, I’m sorry to hear that Miss Jones. I can get you on a flight today arriving at 2pm.” No, no, no lady!  I have an interview at TEN-THIRTY.  I need to be in Boston before that!  “We have a flight leaving at 10am, arriving at 11:40. Will that do?” Sure, sure, put me on that.  “Unfortunately, Miss Jones, that flight is full.  Would you like to placed on stand-by?” Yes. “Unfortunately, Miss Jones, I myself cannot place you on stand-by.  You must go see an agent at that gate.” Super. Thanks for all your help.

I found the agent, thought for two seconds about flying stand-by on a flight that 60 other people also wanted to get on, when I saw a sign above the agent that said Manchester.  I jumped on that plane and rented a car from Hertz to drive down to Boston.  I’m like 10 miles outside of Boston when I see a flashing light come on the dashboard.  It’s an orange blinking exclamation point.  No words, no symbol of what the problem is, just a flashing orange light.  I stare at it, open the glove compartment (while driving 90) to see if the manual has info - the manual is still wrapped in plastic.  The light stops blinking; now it is a solid exclamation point.  Excellent, the car is about to explode.  I try calling the “emergency roadside assistance” number, where I am placed on hold, which is a blackhole of nothingness for 10 minutes.  I hang up.  The light goes off.  Great, the car has repaired itself.  Or is about to explode.  Either way, I don’t care, I’m not stopping this car for anything.

I finally make it to the interview (after the Hertz NeverLost system LOSES me in Boston) and actually have a great talk with the Executive Director.  I then met with the Controller for lunch and a stoll in the Common.  I toured the school, had the chance to observe for a couple of hours and was really comfortable with the atmosphere there.  It reminded me of where I am now and it’s exactly the type of work I’d like to continue doing.  I’m still in negotiations with them, so I’ll report the results…when I know something

After I was done with work stuff, I had the chance to visit with a lot of old friends.  I spend the afternoon with Andrea and Evan and met their daughter Hailey.  All of us, plus Nate, went to lunch and then played Wii (quite addictive) at Nate’s place.   The next day I met up with my old co-worker, Jacquie, and met her son, Robbie.  Seriously, two of the happiest kids I’ve ever seen.  Completely adorable and I’m so happy I finally got the chance to see them. 

Andrea and Hailey

Robbie

I flew out last night, Nate was nice enough to drop me off at the airport; and he was a true lifesaver by giving me an extra contact (mine tore yesterday morning!).  However, in true United-style, every flight going to DC was delayed because of storms in the area.  When we finally did get on board, we had to be rerouted because the Pope was flying out of JFK.  And how far out of the way of the Pope did we have to fly?  Over 500 miles.  Bringing an orignally 225 mile flight to 800 miles. Teriffic.

So I realize most of this post was about my actual traveling and NOT the visit - but seriously, it took up most of my time.  I think I’m cursed whenever I fly using my brother’s free miles.  Last time I used a ticket (to Boston, no less) from him, I arrived at the airport only to find out he had booked it for the NEXT weekend

I was out of town the last two weekends and really missed out on the peak of cherry blossoms.  However, Toby and I still trotted out to the basin to check things out.  There weren’t so many blossoms left (hardly any at all) but we managed to find a few….plus the Tulip Garden was in full bloom.

 

I took two days off work.  Two days!!  I flew across the country to Albuquerque this weekend for my cousin’s wedding.  Calli is the daughter of my Aunt Debbie and Uncle Allen and she married a great guy named Rod, who Debbie likes to refer to as “a big teddy bear.”  Upon reflection, I think this might be an accurate description

My brother, Kevin, met up with me there and we spent Saturday doing wedding stuff.  The colors of the wedding were purple and black, which go along perfectly with my cousin’s style, which is a mix of goth and gamer (does that even exist?).  There was a great crowd of people there, plenty of good food and good conversation.

The Happy Couple - and their kickass cake.

Debbie, Allen, Kevin, and Me at the wedding.

View from my Aunt and Uncle’s house. 

On Sunday, we drove over to Sante Fe to check out the “art scene.”  It’s a beautiful town, full of awesome architecture, art galleries, and boutiques.  All of the houses, and buildings really, in New Mexico are made out of the same clay/stucco material - which I guess shouldn’t be a shock at all.  I think I sorta thought it was one of those myths, like Florida being filled with palm trees (so not true), but this one seems to be real.

The proof.

 

 

big changes going on for swirlingsnow.  well, I can’t really annouce them yet, but it’s in the works.  today was my friday, because i have tomorrow and monday off! i am going to albuquerque for my cousin’s wedding.

today we had restraining orders, fire alarms, and bomb threats. in that order. in 24 hours.  yes, the fun never stops here.

so I totally deserved to head up to jordan’s 8 (expensive sushi/steak place) and make myself feel better (I mean, safer).  there was another group there, corporate folks having a party, and they were kind enough to share some shots with us.  we appreciate it.  greatly.

so i’ve been doing some thinking.  and not even really “lately,” but for a long time now.  i had this long standing theory that you can learn a lot from your parent’s relationship - whether it was a good one or a bad one.  you either find out what you want or what you don’t want in your permanent relationship.  however, what I didn’t take into account was the notion that even if your parents have a bad relationship (hello, me!), it’s not ALL bad. meaning that, there’s still some good stuff in there.  i don’t know why i never really considered this, it makes total sense.  

for a long time, though, if i saw anything in my relationships that looked like theirs, i took it as a bad sign. fighting? it’s over.  getting irritated with each other? this will never last. i basically felt like anything that reflected their relationship at all was a bad sign.  i’ve always been reluctant (i don’t ever do it) to mention anything that is bothering me in a relationship because i feel like if i do, we’ll never get past it.  the relationship will be over.   yeah, i have issues and obviously not a lot of faith in the strength of my relationships. which is bogus because i have always had amazing boyfriends. 

another effect is that i was always waiting for something bad to happen. i had this (super) irrational fear that i would wake up one day and not be happy. and feel trapped, like i couldn’t leave.  because my parents won’t leave each other, i felt like i wouldn’t be able to leave my partner either.  mind you, this has never actually happened, the FEELING or WANTING to go, but i just had this fear.

one final thing. however your childhood was, you are comfortable with it.  or, you are used to it and it seems normal.  case in point.  if you had an emotionally fucked up childhood, where things were always tense and drama-ful, you get used to it and it feels natural. as an off-shoot of this, you subconsiously desire it when you grow up.  so when you are in a “normal” relationship, where things are smooth and lovely and happy, you always feel like something isn’t quite right.  you feel bored, you think there is some passion or excitement missing.  but that’s not it at all. what you are really missing is the insane tension, the drama.  you are so used to it that you feel uncomfortable being happy!  how crazy is that?! VERY. and it’s unhealthy.  it’s super unhealthy. 

and after doing a lot of thinking, and maturing, and figuring shit out. i finally understand. i understand why i felt a void in the past, why i felt scared and trapped.

and now, i feel truly free from the fear.  and i’m ready to go out there and be happy. finally.

P.S. - An addendum from the morning after.  I failed to include the idea that we have unrealistic expectations from marriage.  In no other relationship in our lives, with our best friends, our parents, our siblings, do we expect to have a perfect relationship all the time.  You’re going to get angry with one another, pissed, irritated, have fights; it’s normal.  So we definitely shouldn’t expect our partner to be this pefect person we never have any frustrations with.  Hey, maybe this is no news to the rest of you, but it’s certainly a lightbulb that went off for me recently- it’s not like I was consciously thinking this, but in my fantasy-weddingland, I think I expected a bit of it.  I thought it was “the sign” that you had met the perfect person for you when you felt like that person was perfect in every way all the time (the Mary Poppins syndrome?).  All I know is, I understand what’s really important, now, for determing who “the one” for you really is.