Three weeks until the big race - and by big, I mean that from a personal perspective. I realize that people run whole marathons all the time, but I like to think of my little 5K as a small step for mankind. I’ve only been training for three weeks and I’ve noticed that there is a lot of soreness and pain involved in running. I decided to forego the treadmill on Saturday and opted for the Precor instead. And let me just say that if there was a Precor marathon, I’d sign my ass up. I love that machine.

I decided to look at pictures from my ex’s wedding. Yeah, I know, stupid idea. But it’s like a car accident; I had to look. Besides thinking he looked a little thinner, I came away from the whole episode wondering “who was that guy?” When did I ever know him?

When you break up with someone, you basically mourn the death of them. Basically, the person you loved no longer exists. They are now your friend, if anything, and you can’t go back to having that relationship with them.

Looking back, it’s really hard to remember what it was like being with him. It seems so foreign to me now that I often wonder if it happened at all. I laughingly think, did I make the whole thing up?

And ironically, when I do speak to him on the phone, there he is. That same guy, as if nothing happened. It trips you up more than anything, I think. But at least you know it was real.

I had my first (professional) massage last night, thanks to Nate’s lovely Valentine’s Day gift certificate to Violet, a new place on Newberry Street. And I must say, I should have joined the ranks of the spoiled and pampered long ago. I will make a few comments about my masseuse, though. She was a little pixie of a thing, very ‘new age’ and all about deep breathing. She warns me “it’s 50% about breathing and you’ll see that I do a lot of deep breathing throughout the massage, I hope it doesn’t bother you.” Beyond the (annoying) breathing, she’s very polite to ask me how the pressure is, how it feels. But she has this voice. Some might call it ‘quiet’ and ’soothing’, I say it’s more like soft porn star.

“Does that feel gooood?”

“How does the feeeeel?”

I think about it now and can’t help but wonder how I didn’t bust out laughing. At the time I just pushed it out of my mind and tried to focus on how much this was costing a minute.